I was recently watching some silly old movie and a guy fell in quicksand….
After a few futile attempts, ‘BLOOP!’, under he went, never to be heard of again. I remember watching cartoons and movies as a kid and hoping that I never ever ever EVER fell in to a pit of quicksand. I was too young to have rational thoughts about what it was, or if there was even a real threat – it just scared the bejeezus out of me.
I’ve come to realize that worry is just like that quicksand. Once you unsuspectingly fall into it, the more you struggle against it, the faster it will swallow you up and eventually pull you under. BUT, if you surrender and relax, it releases it’s hold, and you can save yourself.
A recent chain of events in our personal lives took me to the brink of letting the worry/quicksand swallow me whole, never to be seen again. BUT, I prevailed!!
It started with me finding “the one that I love the very most” semi-unresponsive and a 2:00 am 9-1-1 call. I will tell you that the scariest thing to ever happen to me personally is to see the person that is my external heart on the floor pale, wide-eyed, and unable to communicate with me. Absolutely 100% terrifying. Survival kicked in to get through the issue, and eventually with some minor medicine changes, the long-term situation is under control. This might be where I jump on my soapbox about ALWAYS QUESTION YOUR DOCTORS – They are NOT infallible and contrary to many of their own beliefs, are not all-knowing (would medical malpractice exist if they were??) Many are very good but be empowered and question things – part of their job is to educate you. Another day, another blog post.
I digressed… The ‘under control’ was not a message my brain was getting – because all my brain wants is to make sure I never see that again. Although I am in touch with my awareness enough to know I cannot control the universe – fear and my self survival overrode that, and I fell head first into the worry.
Worry took over. Anxiety. Stress. PTSD – physical and emotional manifestations of fear and worry – I couldn’t sleep or function like a normal human.
The very first step is to reach out to those that love you – don’t suffer in silence – there is too much of that! The rest of this is about the internal steps to pull yourself back up. None of it happens linearly and often takes a circular pattern. Be kind to yourself and acknowledge the small steps. You will get there.
Using the below quicksand safety tips, you can get a grip on the anxious brain too.
1 – Stop fighting it.
You know, that squirrel brain thing that tells you ‘omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg – we are all going to die – omgomgomgomgomgomgomg’?
That. Get momentary control over it. Unless you are truly in an emergency (if so, call 9-1-1!), your brain is looping on itself and scaring you.
2 – Relax.
Breathe. Deep, controlled breaths – concentrate on that breathing and use an In-4, Hold-4, Out-4 count. Calm breathing can help lower your heartrate that has probably sped up. Repeat until you start to feel in more control (of yourself, not necessarily the situation)
3 – Lie back to increase your footprint.
Consider incorporating meditation. You don’t have to get all hippie crystal meditation practice, but even a few minutes a day will absolutely make a difference. Don’t give up, it takes some time to get your brain to play along. Find an app with guided sessions – I like Insight Timer – it has all sorts of free sessions from a minute to 30 minutes or more. It’s about breathing and letting your thoughts be, without letting them control.
You can incorporate essential oils or even CBD oil to help and increase the impacts. (Later posts about both – contact me for questions)
4 – Make slow deliberate movements.
Don’t allow yourself to fall back into panic. Don’t react immediately. Often worry and anxiety is over things we can’t control, and our reactions are an attempt to gain the control we don’t have. Unfortunately, if others are involved and we react too quickly, we can negatively impact them and/or our relationships. If there are positive changes you can make to your habits, then go for it. But, if there are big life-changing moves you are considering, take the time to make sure they are what you need (number 5 can help with that)
5 – Use available resources to get out. Stick, branch, rope, swim
Be brave enough to ASK for the help that you need. Suffering because we can’t ask for help is neither heroic, nor does it make us strong. That is a lie that we tell ourselves. Usually doing that strains relationships (they can’t read our minds, no matter how much they love us!!) Society has lied to us to keep us from getting help. Struggling people are usually preoccupied and easier to manipulate and sell stuff to!
If it’s professional help, a friend, a partner, whatever – ASK!! If they judge, refuse or anyway take advantage of you, I guarantee that they were part of the issue (even peripherally) and needed to go. Reserve excessive judgement and stay empathic to others, even within your own anxiety – sometimes people’s own worlds are messy too and they may not be able to help right then…and our anxiety riddled minds can MAKE UP SOME CRAZY SHIT and project it on others. It’s tough, but we must balance our pendulum of absolute self help and protection. Beware of helpers peddling labels of others like ‘toxic’ and ‘narcissistic’ – they probably have an agenda that won’t help your situation – while they exist and hurt, many that make mistakes and hurt us simply aren’t in that category of clinical neuroses.
6 – You will probably get dirty, but you will survive.
Life is dirty and beautiful at the same time. To get out of the swampy quicksand, we aren’t going to come out unscathed, but we will survive – keep going. Remember that dirt washes off. Try not to let it stick and keep us in a bitter angry place. Emerge from that and let our faces rise to the sunshine and good that absolutely exists in the world.
Now, it’s more probable that you will encounter a worry swamp before quicksand (unless you go to Australia, apparently), but now you are prepared for both!!
Can you think of other resources to help when coping with worry?? Shout ‘em out!
Make it a great day!!
It’s CFRS – Positively.